|By the time the Lord made mothers, he was
into his sixth day of working overtime.
An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much time on this
And the Lord answered and said, "Have you seen the
spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable
parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three
children at one time and that disappears when she stands up, have a kiss that can cure
anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands."
The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this
one. "Six pairs of hands! No Way!", said the Angel.
The Lord replied, "Oh, it's not the hands that are
the problem. It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!"
"And that's just on the standard model?" the
The Lord nodded in agreement, "Yep, one pair of
eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even
though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head, are to see what she needs
to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her
head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves
him or her without even saying a single word."
The Angel tried to stop the Lord. "This is too
much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."
"But I can't!" The Lord protested, "I am
so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals
herself when she's sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a
nine year old to stand in the shower. "
The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, "But
you have made her so soft, Lord."
"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I
have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?", asked the
The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to
think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate."
The Angel then noticed something and reached out and
touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I
told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."
"That's not a leak." The Lord objected.
"That's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the Angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing
her joy, her sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her
The Angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord.
You thought of everything; for mothers are truly amazing!"
~by Erma Bombeck~