It's erev Passover and I'm in the kitchen;
I was cookin' and bakin' and moanin' and kvetchin'.
I've been here for hours, I can't stop to rest.
This room's a disaster, just look at this mess!

Tomorrow I've got thirty people to feed.
Chopped liver I got - ah, charosis I need
They expect all the trimmings--who cares what I need!
My feet are both blistered, I've got cramps in my legs.
The cat just knocked over a bowl full of eggs.

There's a knock at the door and the telephone's ringing;
khrain drips on the counter as the microwave's dinging.
Two sponge cakes in the oven, dessert's almost done;
my cookbook is soiled with butter and crumbs.

I've had all I can stand, I can't take anymore;
Then in walks my husband, spilling wine on the floor.
He weaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady;
then grins as he chuckles "The Manischewitz is ready!"

He looks all around and with total regret,
says "What's taking so long? Aren't you through in here yet ??"
I grabbed the rolling pin, held it up high
"Get the matzoh on the table"; he knew I would shrei.

As quick as a flash I reach for a knife;
He loses an earlobe; I wanted his life!
He flees from the room in terror and complains,
"My Gosh woman, you're going insane!"
Now what was I doing, and what is that smell?
Oy gevalt, it's the cakes!! They're burned all to hell!!

I hate to admit when I make a mistake,
but I put them on BROIL instead of on BAKE.
What else can go wrong? Is there still more ahead?
If this is good living, "es gate mir in drerd."

Lord, don't get me wrong, I love holidays;
It just leaves me exhausted, all shaky and dazed.
I promise you one thing, if I live 'til next year,
You won't find me pulling my hair out in here.
I'll hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter
And if that doesn't work, I'll have it all catered!

~Submitted by Renee. Thanks Renee!~ 

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