- Everything hurts; and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
- The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your
bifocals.
- You feel like the morning after and you haven't been
anywhere.
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- Your little black book contains only names ending in
M.D.
- Your children begin to look middle aged.
- You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it
leaning against the wrong wall.
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- Your mind makes contracts that your body can't meet.
- You look forward to a dull evening.
- Your favorite part of the newspaper is "20 years
ago today."
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- You turn out the lights for economic rather than
romantic reasons.
- You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
- Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
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- You regret all those mistakes you made resisting
temptation.
- You're 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 106
around the golf course.
- Your back goes out more than you do.
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- A fortune teller offers to read your face.
- Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you see
a pretty girl.
- The little old gray haired lady you help across the
street is your wife.
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- You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
- You have too much room in the house and not enough in
the medicine cabinet.
- You know all the answers but nobody asks you the
questions.
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