- The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than
your spouse.
- You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner
table in front of her kids.
- You've been married three times and still have the same
in-laws.
- You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls
on a different night.
- Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired
People."
- You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so
clean.
- Anyone in your family ever died right after saying,
"Hey, y'all watch this!"
- You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl.'
- You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
- Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
- You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
- Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
- You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are,
"Gentlemen, start your engines."
- You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right
off its wheels.
- You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
- The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending
on how much gas it has in it.
- You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
- One of your kids was born on a pool table.
- Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same
grade.
- You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie
at the House of Tattoos.
- You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front
yard.
- Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a law
against it.
- You dated one of your parents' current spouses in high
school.
- You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife
drunk.
- Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos."
- Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
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