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These are quotes from actual court transcripts here in the US.
Can we actually call this a justice system!?

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

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Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the
     impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

 

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Q: This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your
     memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of

     something that you've forgotten?

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Q: How old is your son -- the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

 

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Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

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Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

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Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school

     for it.

 

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Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been
     involved in the voodoo or occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

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Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were
     your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of

     her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?

 

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Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in
     his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next
     morning?

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Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is
     he?

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Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

 

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Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed
     in the war?

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Q: Did he kill you?

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Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the
     collision?

 

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Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

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Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

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Q: So the date of conception of your baby was August
     8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

 

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Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

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Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

 

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Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate
     honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?

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Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

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Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

 

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Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
     deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

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Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed
     on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

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Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school
     did you go to?
A: Oral.

 

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Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was

     doing an autopsy.

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Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

 

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Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
     check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive

     when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive

     nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and

     practicing law somewhere.

 

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Q: You were not shot in the fracas?
A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the

     navel.

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Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you
     when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

 

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