Here are some
revealing quotes from actual husbands....
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I
don't like to interrupt her.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring,
wedding ring, and suffering.
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked,
"What's on the TV?" I said," Dust!"
In the beginning, God created earth and
rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God
nor man has rested.
Why do men die before their wives? They want
to.
What is the difference between a dog and a
fox? About 5 drinks.
A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman
shopping on Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She
looked at him and said,"God, I wish I had your will power."
Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two
mothers-in-law.
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in
some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens
in every country, son.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified:
"Wife Wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same
thing: "You can have mine."
The most effective way to remember your
wife's birthday is to forget it once.
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an
angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
How do most men define marriage? An expensive
way to get laundry done for free.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men
would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
If you want your wife to listen and pay
undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Then there was a man who said, "I never
knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy,
how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know
son, I'm still paying!"
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