You
Know You're In Trouble When...
- A copy of your birth certificate comes in the mail marked
null and void.
- The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm.
- The little league puts you on waivers.
- The moths in your money belt starve to death.
- The simple instructions enclosed aren't.
- You see the captain running toward the railing wearing a life
jacket.
- You take an assertiveness training course and you're afraid
to tell your wife.
- Your accountant's letter of resignation is postmarked
"Zurich".
- Your pacemaker has only a thirty day guarantee.
- Your secretary tells you the FBI is on line 1, the DA is on
line 2, and CBS is on line 3.
- Your wife starts charging you rent.
- A black cat crosses you path and drops dead.
- Getting there is half the fun and three-fourths of the
vacation budget.
- People send your wife sympathy cards on your anniversary.
- The pest exterminator crawls under your house and never comes
out.
- The plumber floats by on your kitchen table.
- There are two elephants, two giraffes, and two zebras in your
yard and your next door neighbor is building an arc.
- They pay your wages out of petty cash.
- You have to hitch hike to the bank to make your car payment.
- You make more than you ever made, owe more than you ever
owed, and have less than you've ever had.
- You see your stockbroker hitchhiking out of town.
- Your suggestion box starts ticking.
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