Are You A Scrooge?

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If your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, vodka and bourbon
-- you just might be a Scrooge

If you turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away
-- you just might be a Scrooge

If you buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas
-- you just might be a Scrooge

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If your favorite version of "A Christmas Carol" stars Bob Packwood or Bill Clinton
-- you just might be a Scrooge

If your favorite version of "Babes in Toyland" stars Michael Jackson
-- you just might be a Scrooge

If your favorite version of "The Nutcracker" stars Andrew Golata
-- you just might be a Scrooge

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If you get your Christmas Tree at a rest stop at night
-- you just might be a Scrooge

If you give bathroom fixtures as Christmas gifts
-- you just might be a Scrooge

If your prized Christmas ornament is Santa Claus shooting the moon
-- you just might be a Scrooge

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If your favorite Christmas movie is Jurassic Park
- - you just might be a Scrooge

If your idea of Christmas dinner is a six pack of beer and a cheese log
-- you just might be a Scrooge

If you think "Ho, Ho, Ho" is a line from a Rocky movie
-- you just might be a Scrooge

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If your best Christmas tradition involves a fire and reindeer meat
-- you just might be a Scrooge

If you use your Christmas Club money to buy wrestling tickets
-- you just might be a scrooge

If your favorite pasttime is putting defective bulbs in your neighbors' string of Christmas lights or defacing Christmas lawn charicatures with egg nog
-- you just might be a Scrooge

If your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin
-- you just might be a Scrooge

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