How To Drive A Woman Crazy!

• Leave the newspaper open to an ad for plastic surgery. . .

• Never give her a straight answer.

• Shrink her jeans and when she overreacts because she thinks that she's gaining weight, smile sweetly and say that you prefer her with some meat on her bones.

• Superglue the toilet seat in the up position.

• Buy her power tools for Valentine's Day, Birthday, and Christmas...

• Call her by the dog's name... of course you'll deny it.

• Firmly refuse to ever ask for directions even if you find yourself in Georgia when your original destination was California.

• Pretend you forgot how to speak English.

• Take up yodeling and practice a lot.

• Answer all her questions with a question, preferably one on a totally different subject.

• Answer every question with "Yes, dear." (Use with caution as PMS is now a valid murder defense in many states.)

• Call her by your mother's name... of course you'll deny it.

• Start a conversation with the dog in the middle of one with her.

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