How To Drive A Woman Crazy!

 

  • Leave the newspaper open to an ad for plastic surgery. . .

  • Never give her a straight answer.

  • Shrink her jeans and when she overreacts because she thinks that she's gaining weight, smile sweetly and say that you prefer her with some meat on her bones.

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  • Superglue the toilet seat in the up position.

  • Buy her power tools for Valentine's Day, Birthday, and Christmas...

  • Call her by the dog's name... of course you'll deny it.

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  • Firmly refuse to ever ask for directions even if you find yourself in Georgia when your original destination was California.

  • Pretend you forgot how to speak English.

  • Take up yodeling and practice a lot.

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  • Answer all her questions with a question, preferably one on a totally different subject.

  • Answer every question with "Yes, dear." (Use with caution as PMS is now a valid murder defense in many states.)

  • Call her by your mother's name... of course you'll deny it.

  • Start a conversation with the dog in the middle of one with her.


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