How To Photograph A Puppy!

 

  • Remove film from box and load camera

  • Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash

  • Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle

  • Choose a suitable background for photo

  • Mount camera on tripod and focus

  • Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth

  • Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera

  • Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees

  • Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand

  • Get tissue and clean nose print from lens

  • Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash

  • Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose

  • Put magazines back on coffee table

  • Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head

  • Replace your glasses and check camera for damage

  • Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"

  • Call spouse to clean up mess

  • Fix a drink

  • Sit back in Lazy Boy with drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning


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