For all you
men, take heed. This is it. Understand this and you can stay out of whatever kind of
trouble you feel the need to be in.
The Secrets of Women's Language -
A must-read for any man
Keywords and their meanings:
"Fine":
This is the word a woman uses at the end of any argument that she feels she is right
about but needs to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will
cause you to have one of those arguments.
"Five minutes":
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is
going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
"Nothing":
This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually
used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down,
and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five
Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".
"Go Ahead" (with
raised eyebrows):
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over
"Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".
"Go Ahead" (normal
eyebrows):
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't
care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just a few minutes,
followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about
"Five Minutes" when she cools off.
"Loud Sigh":
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood
by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over
"Nothing".
"Soft Sigh":
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few
things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or
breathe and she will stay content.
"Oh":
This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get
that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If
she says "Oh" before a statement, RUN, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She
will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the
window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. "Oh" as the
lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more
to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so
unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them.
"That's Okay":
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man.
"That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you
retributions for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used
with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go
ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are
going to be in some mighty big trouble.
"Please Do":
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up
with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You
have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's
Okay".
"Thanks":
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say you're welcome.
"Thanks a lot":
This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks a
lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in
some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask
what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you
"Nothing".
I hope this clears up any
misunderstandings... |
