What The Doctor Really Means!

"Well, what have we here...?"

--- He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue.

"Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?"

--- I'm stalling for time.

"If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."

--- I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.

"Let me check your medical history."

--- I want to see if you've paid your last bill before
spending anymore time with you.

"Well, now, we have some good news and some bad news."

--- The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW.
The bad news is,you're going to pay for it.

"This should be taken care of right away."

--- I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy
and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.

"Let me schedule you for some lab tests."

--- I have a forty percent interest in the lab.

"Let's see how it develops."

--- Maybe in a few days it will grow into something
that really needs to be cured.

"I'd like to prescribe a new drug."

--- I'm writing a paper and would like to use you
for a guinea pig.

"That's quite a nasty looking wound."

--- I think I'm going to throw up.

"This may smart a little."

--- Last week two patients almost bit off their tongues.

"This should fix you up."

--- The drug company slipped me some big bucks
to prescribe this stuff. Hope it works...

"Everything seems to be normal."

--- Rats! I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all.

"I'd like to run some more tests."

--- I can't figure out what's wrong.
Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.

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